Blog? Blog? Where are you? Oh, THERE you are!!
After a year of neglect and, to be quite honest, forgetfulness, my ramblings have been given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by a mulleted friend at the HEB grocery store.
He was glorious. Curly locks flowed gracefully to his waist, his face framed by delicate bangs. His black wife-beater shirt (complete with obscure death metal tour dates on back) gave the distinct impression that he was a true "manly man." Despite his unmistakable Anglo features, the dreamcatcher tattoo placed strikingly upon his pale bicep was testament to his love toward our Native brothers.
His wife/girlfriend/babymomma was equally fabulous, black bra straps on display above her shoulderless neon top- and black daisy dukes riding up to where the sun don't shine.
I stared (while trying to remain inconspicuous) throughout the 15-minute-ring-up while the inept clerk finally realized that lactose-free milk doesn't fall under WIC criteria. I decidedly did not wonder, while fingering my hard plastic bank card, how they could nonchalantly pay for tonight's meal with four crisp new twenty-dollar bills.
Then I looked down at my scant 4-item purchase. A loaf of fresh-baked French bread, fancy Camembert cheese, sashimi-grade tuna steak and...
a BOX of wine.
Next time I go shopping, I better dress the part.
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2 comments:
What a grand and glorious Mullet! Because I refuse to shop at Wal-mart, a sighting of this sort is rare for me. Thanks for allowing me to live vicariously through your experience!
I am so psychic. I haven't glanced at my blog reader for months and look what a jewel I come upon my return.
I saw one of those yesterday. It was a portly girl in a hot pink shorts and shirt outfit. The shirt was riding up over her bulging belly and her shorts were crawling up her ass where there were clearly no underwear. *shiver*
When you dress the part. Send pictures.
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