Rotten

We all know that Boy Ferret treats me like a princess. (He puts peas under my bed when I'm not looking...) But lately he has gone above and beyond. I went from being merely spoiled--- to spoiled absolutely ROTTEN!

It began with my friendship with Jim. As much as I loved the 80's (who didn't?!) I don't always love jamming out to 'Maniac' and 'We Built This City' for 40 minutes on the eliptical machine. The answer? Either hum reeeeeally loud...or give in to the craze and buy an iPod.

Since, among other things, I am a rocker- I decided that music would be necessary to realize my dream of fitting back into those size 8 Levis. Sadly, I was broke-ola. No paycheck for a while, teachers are paid once monthly. But then (cue the awwwwww's) Boy Ferret came galloping through the misty valley on his white steed, beautiful green Shuffle in his hand-

And now I really CAN rock!



(Side Note: He wanted to buy me the Nano OR AN IPHONE...but I chose the shuffle because of its inherent clipability)

So, a few days passed by. I began training for my NEW JOB...(future posts- keep your eyes open) and Boy Ferret listened patiently as I blathered on about super-exciting topics such as PDAS training and Ruby Payne presentations. He encouraged me to buy "teacher shoes" and even hiked around our construction-riddled campus to see my new classroom. As if that wasn't enough, today he came home with a huge gift, wrapped in flowery paper with a toy frog on top.

Laughing at my surprised face, he announced that it was a congratulations-on-the-new-job present, and forced me to stop smooching him so I could open it. When I was a kid, I was very careful with wrapping paper. The good stuff I kept neat and re-folded so that I could use it for someone else or fold it into paper cranes. Usually we wrapped gifts in the comics section of the newspaper. They were in color, after all! But this present...I ripped the sucka open!

It was something I have wanted ever since Mrs. Parks's Home Economics class in 7th grade. (15 years ago for those of you who are curious but don't want to do the math) Something that I never thought I would have, since it's one of those "luxury" kitchen items. After all, who needs a KitchenAid when you've got a good ole' Black-n-Decker hand mixer?

ANYONE who has ever used a KitchenAid mixer knows the answer to that foolish question.



And this is no ordinary KitchenAid. It's the professional series. Super-turbo-wambo-jambo! With this baby, I can make enough bread to fill my whole classroom! And it's got this awesome burnished silver finish- that I'm just itchin' to paint with flames to match Alton Brown's...

I'd better bake my wonderful husband a lot of cookies.

A place called Jim

Brace yourself. I have done something that I have never done before. That I've never even dreamed of doing before. Well, maybe once while I was eating a pint of Ben & Jerrys and reading Harry Potter...

I JOINED A GYM!

Yeah, that's right. Get ready for the next generation of Girl Ferret! Abs you can clean your clothes on! Buns steely enough to name Dan! Bulging biceps as far as the eye can see! Or...maybe just elimination of the excess baggage that has crept aboard as I draw nearer and nearer to thirty.

Waaay back when I started elementary school I came home one day and Dad asked me what I had done in school. Excited as I was about all my new adventures, I launched into a detailed account of all the games we played in gym. "Jim?" Dad asked innocently. "Who's Jim?" I rolled my eyes and said, "Nooooooo Dad, GYM! You know, the CLASS!"

"Jim teaches the class?"
"No! Gym IS the class!"
"Is he cute?"
"Daaaaaaaaaad!!"

This continued for quite a while.

I'm sure Dad is looking down at me now, making up stories about Jim. So, that's what I've decided to call it. I didn't join Women's Super Fitness. I made friends with Jim.

Jim has lots of cardio equipment, weights, and clean towels. But the best part about Jim is the classes! I took my first Yoga class today, and I am so frikkin' enlightened, I think I just floated off my office chair a little. Then, foolish me, I decided to jump right into the kickboxing class. WAHOOOOOOOO!!!

As some of you know, I have dedicated a portion of my life to becoming a frikkin' ninja. I can punch. I can block. And I have a mean roundhouse kick that really caught Taylor by surprise (sorry 'bout that...ha ha! No I'm not!) But let me tell you...that class kicked my ass.

However, I have no urge for chocolate ice cream. In fact, the thought of it makes me a little queasy at the moment. I think I better drag myself to the couch and let my silly puppies lick the salt off my legs. Yummm...

I'm tired.

I tube You Tube we all tube for...

All you Campers out there...enjoy.

Hot Pants #1


Hot Pants #2


Mom and Dad Cow's 4am Serenade

Camp Lapham '07

Two weeks of family vacation just wasn't enough for me. Two weeks of solid liquor consumption left me feeling...drunk and happy...and ready for MORE!

So I left on my second family vacation of the summer. Who cares if it wasn't my family? Neutron Cow's is as amazing as mine (and less stressful!) So I hopped a plane to Maine and started drinking water in preparation for another fantastic week of fun.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Picture, if you will, the sweet small town of Sanford, Maine. Pristine lakes, untouched forests, and blueberry patches ripe for the pickin'. Wicked awesome seafood chowdah served fresh at McDonalds and lighthouses and lobsters on every doorstep. Wait...exaggerating...But there really are blueberries.

Ahem, so Mom and Dad Cow are amazing, generous people who give up their back yard once a year for "Camp Lapham". The grass gets covered with tents and kiddie pools, and the kitchen table gets covered with Crown and Belvedere.

Again, I will list the high points of our trip, as details will simply not do it justice. Those who were there with us, you know exactly how hilarious each one of these points is. Those who weren't...get ready for next year...

1. Hot pants causes Kris to lose his mind. In the hot tent.
2. Naughty potato salad is as much fun to make as it is to eat.
3. Cheesy Knucks loves it when Brian grinds to her techno song.
4. Hippie drum circles cause an irresistible urge to fire dance for Millenium Falcon.
5. Kazoos really add that special something to the song.
6. Neutron Cow does NOT want to do any more shots.
7. Punching Brian hurts.
8. Cherry dipped ice cream cones at DQ are wonderful. So are Man on Fire chicken tenders.
9. Jacob's pool is extra fun when you're toasted.
10. It is super-important for new best friends to get pretzels tattooed on their boobs. Immediately.



There, that about says it. For anyone who has a myspace account, videos can be seen on my page: myspace.com/girlferret

For those of you who live under a rock and do NOT have a myspace account, (or those who are not internet geeks like me. Wait, if you're not an internet geek you're probably not reading this. Never mind.) I will try to upload to youtube soon.

I have two weeks until I go back to work. Anyone want to invite me along on a family vacation?